Wow, time really flies…
Something about 2018 didn’t feel real at all. The months felt like a dream; I think I only read two books the entire year, and I spent more time working than I did relaxing. In the time that I was at home, I spent a lot of time reflecting and thinking about ways to bolster my creative spirit.
2018 was an incredibly difficult year. There were more personal hurdles than creative ones, and I think I managed to turn some of that “stress” (I had to think of it as stress) into creative fuel. There were a lot of positive surprises, but there were a few terrible ones as well. I’ve even had a medical scare, but even saying all of that, this year has just been… odd. Disconnected. Unreal. It’s hard to explain. I felt as if I was observing just as much as I was participating in this year.
It felt like I was finding myself all over again, but at the same time, I feel like I lost something — though, it’s hard to say what exactly.
Unlike the years before, I’m not terribly excited to march into 2019. I’m cautious but hopeful all the same. I’m hoping to have something real to ground myself this year. I don’t want to go into this year with a negative or pressured mood, so I’m going to be warily hopeful and invite the changes of this year with open arms.
We’ll see what happens.